Love Never Dies
by SweeneyintheNight
Summary: Murder. Blood. Psychopaths. Serial rapists and serial killers. This is just a glimpse of what Spencer had to deal with every day. But then an investigation starts to get a little personal. SpencerOC.
1. It Ends Tonight

A/N: Song belongs to The All-American Rejects.

Murder. Blood. Psychopaths. Serial rapists and serial killers. That was just a glimpse of what Spencer had to deal with almost every single day. But no amount of training, no amount of criminal studies, would brace him for the scene that was beheld before him.

"Are you okay?" Spencer turned to see his mentor standing behind him, wearing his usual frown. That was the one thing that had always bothered Spencer. He understood why Jason never smiled at crime scenes, but he didn't even smile when the BAU would go out, whenever he was having a personal conversation with somebody, never smiled. At least, not that Spencer had ever seen.

"Yeah," Spencer lied to Jason. "I'm fine."

**Your subtleties**

**They strangle me**

**I can't explain myself at all**

**And all the wants**

**And all the needs**

**All I don't want to need at all**

"If you need some time off..."

"No. I'm not going to give up. I'm going to find the person that has done this." Gideon just nodded, heading back to the body spattered with blood. Tears started to fill up into his eyes. He had to fight back the tears. He couldn't let the one he loved see him cry. If only she knew...

"I'm so sorry." He turned, staring into the eyes of the one he had fallen in love with. Her response was hugging him as hard as she could.

"I promise we'll find whoever did this," she whispered in his ear.

"I know you will," he whispered back. The tears were coming back. He had to fight them back again.

"I miss her." The only words he managed to choke out.

"I know," she replied. "So do I."

**The walls start breathing**

**My mind's unweaving**

**Maybe it's best you leave me alone**

**A weight is lifted **

**On this evening**

**I give the final blow**

Spencer looked back at her. "You know you were always my best friend," he said.

"You were my best friend too," she replied. He had always found her beautiful. Had always loved it whenever he could look into her blue eyes. Always wanted to comb his fingers through her sandy blonde hair. Always wanted to be close to her. But she could never know.

"We'll find this son of a bitch," she told him. "He'll wish he never screwed with us." Spencer wanted to smile, but he felt like his mentor at the moment. Unwilling to smile. He started to wonder if he would ever be able to smile again.

"I'm weak," he spoke, his voice starting to crack. "Kate, I'm weak."

"No, you're not. You weren't weak when your father walked out on you. You weren't weak when you sent your mother to the hospital."

"You were always there besides me."

"You're strong Spencer, you hear me? You're strong."

"No, I'm not. I can't hold myself together."

"Spencer, I have known you since we were two-years-old. I know that you can hold yourself together. You are strong." He couldn't fight back anymore. He had let the tears won over, pouring them out.

"I think I should be alone for a few minutes," he said.

"Okay. I'll tell Gideon." Spencer ran out of the hospital, ready to pour all of his emotions out on the street.

**When darkness turns to light**

**It ends tonight**

**It ends tonight**

"Dammit!" He couldn't recall his own brain telling him to scream out the words. "Why? Why? Why? Good God, why her? Why her?" Fortunately for him, nobody was out on the sidewalk, but he could feel the people peering down on him through the windows, watching him screaming to the top of his lungs.

"Mommy." He was surprised. He had never called his own mother that. But then again, she would never hear him call her that again. She would never see him again.

"Mom, why did somebody have to kill you?"

**A falling star**

**Least I fall alone**

**I can't explain what you can't explain**

**You're finding things that you didn't know**

**I look at you with such disdain**

Spencer ran. He didn't know where he was running to, but he didn't really care. He just had to run away from the place that his dead mother was lying at. He couldn't stand the thought of people staring at her corpse, cutting her open...

He found himself in front of the hotel that the BAU were staying at. His own feet must have carried him there. And he knew exactly why.

Spencer couldn't remember ever actually moving his own feet when he was standing outside of the hotel, but he suddenly found himself in his own room. He found himself desperately digging through his bag, when he found what he wanted.

He pulled out the drugs and the needles, desperate to have the slightest memory of his mother.

**The walls start breathing**

**My mind's unweaving**

**Maybe it's best you leave me alone**

**A weight is lifted**

**On this evening **

**I give the final blow**

"_I got you!"_

"_Okay, okay, you got me. Now get off of me!" _

"_Say the words!"_

"_No!"_

"_Say it!"_

"_All right! You're stronger than me!" Kate jumped off of Spencer, laughing as hard as she could. _

"_Look at you!" she announced, smiling in her friend's face._

"_I'm a genius," he said. "Not a professional wrestler!" He smiled, helping himself up. He looked over, watching his mother sitting on the stone bench._

"_She'll be okay," Kate said, basically reading the mind of her friend._

"_I know," he said. "The doctors here are good. It's just the fact that I forced her here." She placed her hand on his shoulder, squeezing it to let him know that she was there._

"_You did the right thing," she reassured him. "And you didn't force her. You were eighteen. She needed to come here."_

"_But why do I feel so guilty?"_

"_Probably because she's your mother." He smirked, playfully pushing Kate to the side. _

"_You want to talk to her?" she asked._

"_Yeah." The two walked to Diana. She looked at her son and smiled._

"_I heard you two," she said, the smile never leaving her face._

"_We were just having a little fun," her sun replied._

"_You made a good choice."_

"_Which choice was that?"_

"_When you decided to marry Kate." Spencer looked up at his friend, trying to think of something. He couldn't just tell his mother that he had never married. He couldn't tell her that he had never even had a girlfriend._

"_Yeah," he lied. "I did."_

**When darkness turns to light**

**It ends tonight**

**It ends tonight**

**Just a little insight won't make this right**

**It's too late to fight**

**It ends**

"Spencer!" He could hear the angelic voice calling onto him. He tried to call back. The drugs had taken over. He couldn't speak.

"We need to get him to a hospital!" This time, the voice sounded different. He recognized it immediately recognized all of the familiar voices of not only Kate, but also Jason, Aaron, Derek, Emily, and J.J.

"Check his pulse!"

"Oh my god, are those needle marks?"

"What's this?"

"These are drugs!"

"Spencer?"

"I'm sorry." He had finally fought back against the drugs, realizing that his own mouth had spoken those last two words. His eyes flew open, staring into the blue eyes he immediately recognized as Kate's.

"I told you before," he whispered out. "I'm weak."

**When darkness turns to light**

**It ends tonight**

**It ends tonight**

**Just a little insight won't make this right**

**It's too late to fight**

**It ends tonight**

**It ends tonight**

Spencer found himself on top of a bed. He recognized immediately that he was in the hospital. And also recognized the figure asleep in a chair beside the bed. "Kate?"

She stirred, staring into his deep brown eyes and smiled, but the smile soon faded away. "Why?" she asked.

"Why what?"

"You know what I'm talking about." He stopped and pondered for a while, eventually coming up with the best answer he could think of.

"I don't know."

"You don't know? You don't know why you shot yourself up with drugs, putting not only your own life but the lives of your friends on the line? You don't know why you screwed with your own mind?"

"I'm weak."

"Stop saying that! Just stop! You're not weak. I'll ask you again, why did you become a drug addict?"

"They remind me of Mom." She stopped and looked at him, not with anger in her eyes, but rather sympathy.

"How did you get addicted?" she asked, the tears filling her eyes.

"When I was taken by Tobias. He gave me drugs to numb the pain. The drugs made me feel better, they reminded me of my mother." The tears, as they had before to Spencer, had won over on Kate, making her cry all over the place.

"I couldn't stand the thought of my mother being gone," he said. "I needed the drugs. To remind me of her. I had been away from her for so long, I forgot how much I had loved her. I even forgot how she always had a look of glee in her eyes whenever she saw me."

He could hear her hard breathing. "You have photographic memory. Why do you need drugs to remember your mother?"

"It was the precise memories I needed. Those memories were buried into the back of my mind, never coming out because I had to use my mind to solve these cases. The drugs brought the memories back to the front of my mind, if only for a little bit."

"Stop trying to make the drugs sound like they did justice to you."

"They didn't. I also needed the drugs to remember you."

"What?"

"I needed the memories of you. The memories of you as well. I have photographic memory, but the memories would always be pushed to the back of my mind. But the back of my mind would keep the memories of you there because, well, I guess there is no other way of saying this. I love you."

**Tonight**

**Insight**

**When darkness turns to light**

She started to cry loudly. "I can't do this," was her response.

"Kate..."

"No Spencer. I really can't. I'm so confused."

"Kate..."

"No, Spencer. I love you too."

"You what?"

"That's why I'm so confused. I have to go."

"Kate!" But she had already left the room. He sighed and looked to the ground.

"Her fiance's going to kill me," he whispered to himself.

**It ends tonight**

A/N: The drama! The suspense! Oh, my dedicated reader, the story will continue. And hopefully won't suck as much as I think it will be.


	2. Perfect

A/N: Song belongs to Simple Plan.

"_Spencer!" He turned, staring in the eyes of the man that he had never wished to see. "How are you doing?" Spencer didn't answer the question. He didn't want to speak to the man. Not after what he did to his mother. "Spencer?"_

_He still wouldn't respond. And quite frankly, he didn't want to respond. "Look, I can understand why you're angry..."_

"_Angry?" Spencer asked, turning to him in fury. "I'm not just angry. I'm furious! After what you did to my mother and me I should kill you! And I can, you know. I have the mind to outwit everyone on the face of the earth. People won't know how you were murdered because of my mind."_

"_Spencer..."_

"_Or maybe it wouldn't look like a murder. Maybe it would look like you died of natural causes."_

"_You have no idea what you're saying!"_

"_Get out of here before I really do kill you!"_

"_Calm down."_

"_Leave now, Dad!" He looked at his father, his chocolate brown eyes piercing with fire dancing within them. His father left, never turning back to even glance at his son. However, he did yell something behind his back. "I am really, truly sorry."_

_As soon as he heard the slamming of the door, Spencer pounded his fists against the walls of the hospital and began to cry._

**Hey Dad look at me**

**Think back and talk to me**

**Did I grow up according to plans**

**Do you think I'm wasting my time**

**Doing things I wanna do**

**But it hurts when you disapprove all along**

He stared out of the window, the sunlight blinding his eyes. He heard footsteps within the room, hoping that it would be Kate. He turned and, much to his disappointment, Jason was standing before him. "How are you doing?"

Spencer was surprised by the question. He had expected his mentor to scold him, to yell at him, to be as angry as ever. He had basically expected the same reaction as Aaron. During the day, Spencer was dreading for the visit from Aaron and Derek, knowing that he would have a long and ridiculous lecture in response of his hospital visit.

"I've had better days," he replied, forcing a smile onto his face. To much of his surprise, his mentor smiled back. Jason seemed at ease when he smiled, like his face was finally at peace. Spencer had a warm feeling when Jason smiled at him. A feeling that made him know that everything would be all right.

**And now I try hard to make it**

**I just want to make you proud**

**I'm never gonna be good enough for you**

**I can't pretend that **

**I'm all right**

**And you can't change me**

"I bet that right now you're wondering why I took the Diluadid, don't you?" Jason looked back at the younger male, giving him a look that Spencer had rarely ever seen. It wasn't a look of anger, but a look of empathy, a look of understanding.

"I'm wondering why you didn't tell us sooner." Spencer looked out of the window again, not caring if the sunlight would burn his eyes right into his sockets. That question to him was harder to figure out than why he even took the Diluadid.

"I was ashamed," Spencer said. "Embarrassed. Desperate. There are millions of words I can think of right off the top of my head to explain why I did it. But I think that I really didn't tell you because I was afraid of my father."

There was an uncomfortable silence at that moment. The silence seemed to drag on. Until finally, Jason broke the harsh silence. "Why are you scared of your father?"

**Cuz we lost it all**

**Nothing lasts forever**

**I'm sorry**

**I can't be perfect**

**Now it's just too late**

**And I can't go back**

**I'm sorry **

**I can't be perfect**

Another uncomfortable silence was bestowed upon them. It was obvious that Spencer was deep in thought. Spencer finally broke the silence. "I was scared that he would hurt me again."

"Again?"

"When I was twelve, my father left my mother and me. Then, five years later, my mother was in the hospital. She was driving and couldn't tell where the road was. She lost control of the car. I met my father again while she was in the hospital."

At this point, his voice started to crack. The whole scene started to play in his head again. _"Look, I can understand why you're angry..." _He was telling his mind to stop playing the scene, but his mind wouldn't listen. _"Get out of here before I really do kill you!" _Jason noticed this sudden change in Spencer's behavior. "Are you okay?" he asked in concern.

But Spencer could only breath out one word. "No."

"_I am really, truly sorry."_

**I try not to think**

**About the pain I feel inside**

**Did you know you used to be my hero?**

**All the days you spent with me**

**Now seem so far away**

**And it feels like you don't care anymore**

"He said he was sorry for leaving us," Spencer said, not taking his eyes away from the window.

"And you believed him?"

"No. And I still don't." Spencer had to look up at the ceiling, pushing the tears back into his eyes. He couldn't live with his mentor thinking that he's weak, even though he had already admitted thousands of times that he was.

"It's okay to cry." Spencer changed his gaze from the ceiling to his mentor. "It will get out all of the anger, all of the frustration. I know. I have had my fair share of cries before."

Spencer gave in and began to cry once again.

**And now I try to make it**

**I just want to make you proud**

**I'm never gonna be good enough for you**

**I can't stand another fight**

**And nothing's alright **

A reassuring hand was placed on Spencer's shoulder. He looked up, trying to control his tears, but he had been won over. "I know you miss her," Jason went on. "And I know that's why you took the Diluadid. You had to remember her."

Spencer all of a sudden went ballistic. He began kicking, screaming, destroying the machines. "I'm not weak! I'm not weak! I don't need my father! I don't need him! I can survive on my own! On my own! On my own! I don't need anybody! I don't need anybody! Nobody!"

Jason was holding him down as tightly as he could, whispering to the younger agent. "Let it all out."

**Cuz we lost it all**

**Nothing lasts forever**

**I'm sorry**

**I can't be perfect**

**Now it's just too late**

**And we can's go back**

**I'm sorry**

**I can't be perfect**

"Why did he have to leave us? Why? WHY? Mom needed him! She needed him! He didn't need her, but she needed him! I was only twelve! I couldn't take care of her by myself! I couldn't! I was a young boy! A young boy, for God's sake!"

"What in the hell is going on?" The voice came as clear as crystal to Spencer during his tantrum. He immediately recognized the voice of the one whom he had only told a few hours ago about his love for her.

"He's just letting it out," Jason replied.

"Letting what out?! He's acting like an infant!"

Spencer turned his head and looked at Kate. She looked exactly the same as she had a few hours ago, but her makeup was smeared all over her face and there was a big, purple bruise on her right arm. Spencer couldn't help but stare at the bruise, forgetting everything about his father.

_How did she get that bruise?_ The question kept on playing in his head. Suddenly, the answer dawned on him.

"What did he do to you?"

**Nothing's gonna change the things that you said**

**Nothing's gonna make this right again**

**Please don't turn your back**

**I can't believe it's hard**

**Just to talk to you**

**But you don't understand**

Kate just stared into his chocolate eyes. She had always been the only one to push all of his secrets out of him. But Spencer knew that he couldn't do the same to Kate. He knew that he couldn't have her admit what her fiancé did to her. He knew he couldn't have Kate admit that Jake would beat her.

"What's more important is what the hell went on in here," she said, trying to dodge the question.

"I'll answer your question if you'll answer mine," Spencer replied.

"He did nothing. I fell in the bathroom and hit my arm against the sink."

"I don't believe you."

"How could he beat me? He's not even here."

"Are you completely sure?"

"Spencer..."

"Why did you even come back? Did you hear me screaming in here and came in to make sure I wasn't completely crazy?" She was standing right next to his bed, a look of anger flying all over her face. He felt a sharp pain on his face, realizing that her hand had just flew across it.

Her eyes were red. He could see that she was about to cry again. "I came in here because I care about you." She stomped off, though her anger remained tinged in the room.

**Cuz we lost it all**

**Nothing lasts forever**

**I'm sorry**

**I can't be perfect**

**Now it's just too late and**

**We can't go back**

**I'm sorry**

**I can't be perfect**

His face was still stinging. He felt ashamed and embarrassed that he had said those nasty things to Kate and it only made it even worse that Jason had watched the whole thing. "Can I be alone for a few minutes?" Spencer had involuntarily asked that question, but he had done a lot of things involuntarily in his twenty-four years of life.

"Of course." Jason got up and walked out of the room. He stopped in the doorway and turned, staring at Spencer. "If I were you, I would talk to him."

"Who?"

"Your father." The suggestion made perfect sense to Spencer. He could tell him about how he had screwed with his mind and his life. He could tell him how because of him, his mother had fallen even worse into the Schizophrenia phases.

His hand reached for the phone, but pulled back. Then again, he thought that he wouldn't be able to say anything. What if his conversation with his father would be like the last one. He had made up his mind. Spencer placed the receiver up to his ear and dialed for the operator. "William Reid."

**Cuz we lost it all**

**Nothing lasts forever**

**I'm sorry**

**I can't be perfect**

**Now it's just too late and**

**We can't go back**

**I'm sorry**

The phone rang. However, there was nobody picked up. "You have reached William Reid. I unavailable at this time. Please leave your name and number and I will get back at you as soon as possible." A beep was heard. Spencer couldn't say anything for the longest time. He felt that somebody had pulled his ability to speak away from him. He tried to move his mouth, but nothing came out. Spencer got fed up. He finally was able to say something.

"Hi Dad. It's Spencer. Look, I know I haven't talked to you sincethat incident in the hospital. Look, I'm in the hospital right now, why don't you come by? I really need to talk to you. I'll, uh, hopefully see you later. Bye."

**I can't be perfect**


	3. Face Down

_A/N: Song belongs to Red Jumpsuit Apparatus._

_I'm sorry for everyone who followed this story. During school, my muse left me. But now, during the wonderful summer break, I have enough time and will, hopefully, finish this story!_

He was lying in the hospital bed, unable to sleep. He wasn't able to sleep for the longest time. Every night since he first arrived, he would toss and turn in his sleep, but always failed to slip into his sweet dreams. He found that the only times he was ever happy since he was first taken was in his dreams. Then the diluadid didn't have control over him.

Spencer looked up to see a man with a white coat walk into the room. "Hello doctor," he said.

"Hello Spencer," the doctor replied. "Are you still awake?"

"Haven't been able to fall asleep."

"Under a lot of stress?"

"You have no idea."

"I think I have some idea. I mean, who wouldn't be under stress if their loved ones just found out...well, you know."

"Yeah. I know."

"Anyways, Kate is outside. And she's with a Jake."

Spencer's blood started to boil. How dare he come to this hospital, after what he did to Kate? How dare he pretend to be living a happy life with her?

"They've been asking to come in," the doctor went on. "I told them that when you're ready..."

"Send them in."

**Hey girl you know you drive me crazy**

**One look puts the rhythm in my hand**

**Still I never understand why you hang around**

**I see what's going down**

Kate and Jake entered the room. Spencer noticed that Kate was a few feet away from Jake, a sign of fear. The bruise on her arm was still there, for she knew that he would notice if she covered it up with makeup, but Spencer noticed that one part on her cheek was a little whiter than it had been before.

"Did you fall again?" he asked.

"How did you..."

"You don't think you could make me not notice the details? I'm a profiler."

This comment made Kate smile. Jake had a smirk on his face, but it wasn't the same as Kate's smile. Kate's smile showed that she still could find humor even through a difficult time; Jake's smirk showed that he was a heartless man and his evil ways weren't going to end any time soon.

"You know how clumsy I am, Spencer."

"I didn't know you were so clumsy that you could hurt yourself badly twice in one day."

This was how much he loved her. He was willing to lie to himself just to make her happy. And it was working.

"You must be Spencer." Jake stepped forward and shook his hand. "I heard a lot about you."

"Even why I'm in here?"

"Yeah. I guess that he thinks you know who killed her."

"What?"

"Kate said that you were poisoned. I just thought that the person who's killing all of these people is the one that poisoned you."

Spencer gave a look at Kate. He realized that she truly did love him. She was willing to lie to Jake, no matter how afraid she was of him.

**Cover up with makeup in the mirror**

**Tell yourself it's never gonna happen again**

**You cry alone and he swears**

**He loves you**

"Jake, do you think we should be alone for a while?" Kate asked, not looking into his eyes.

"Sure," he replied. Spencer was more than sure that he was going to hurt Kate the minute they were out of the public eye. He could tell by how he gruffly walked and nearly stomped towards the door, swinging it open and letting it slam on its own.

"You were willing to lie to him?" he asked quietly so Jake wouldn't hear.

"I'd do anything to protect you, Spencer."

He smiled at this thought.

"I remember when you first told me that."

**Do you feel like a man**

**When you push her around?**

**Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?**

**Well I'll tell you my friend**

**One day this world's going to end**

**As your lies crumble down**

**A new life she has found**

_He had always hated how all of the older kids would bully him around. Just because he wasn't as old as them, they thought that they could treat him like they treated their younger brothers._

"_Why aren't you screaming?" one of the boys yelled. Spencer wasn't able to see who it was, for his face was covering his hands so his nose couldn't be busted by all of the kicking._

"_Scream like the little piggy you are, boy!"_

"_We will continue this until you leave this school!"_

_No matter how much it hurt, Spencer wouldn't give them what they want. He wouldn't scream. Ever since his father left, he felt that he was never to give someone what they want if he didn't want to help them._

"_Leave him alone!"_

"_Looky here, boy. Your girlfriend has come to rescue you."_

"_Surprised he was capable to get a girlfriend."_

"_Probably gave her money so that he would look cool."_

_This made all of the seniors laugh._

"_What is going on out here?" Spencer immediately recognized this voice as Kate's father and the principal of the high school._

"_Go! Leave Spencer alone! You're all suspended for a week! If I catch you bullying another person, be it Spencer or not, I will have you all expelled!"_

"_How are we going to explain this to our parents?"_

"_You'll just have to do that on your own, Mike. Leave my school! Now!"_

_Spencer removed the hand from his face and took the hand that was offered in front of him. "You're pretty bruised," Kate said. "You want us to go with you back home?"_

"_Yeah," Spencer replied. "I need help explaining to my mother what happened."_

"_Do you know why they did this to you?" Kate's father asked._

"_Yeah. Because I'm a twelve-year-old that's sharing a classroom with eighteen-year-olds. They don't think I belong here."_

"_The teachers think you do," Kate replied._

"_Academically, I belong here. Socially, I don't."_

"_Come on. We'll take you home."_

_Kate and Spencer walked to the car, her father close behind, when he turned to look into her blue eyes. "Hey," he said. "Thanks for getting your father out here."_

"_I'd do anything to protect you, Spencer." While they continued walking, Spencer finally realized something. He had felt love for the first time._

**A pebble in the water makes a ripple effect**

**Every action in this world will bear a consequence**

**If you wade around forever you will surely drown**

**I see what's going down**

"You know it's true. I would do anything to protect you."

"I know. But you're willing to lie to him."

"What's so bad about lying to him?"

"Oh, don't play dumb, Kate. I know what he does to you when you make him unhappy. If one little thing doesn't work out the way he does, then he takes it out on you."

Her eyes started to water, but the tears remained in her eyes. She looked up at the ceiling so they wouldn't win over.

"You deserve better than him, Kate."

"But I'm scared to, Spencer. I'm scared to tell him that I've had enough."

"What would he do to you if you told him that you were leaving him?"

"He would kill me."

"What makes you think that?"

"Because he told me if I ever left him, he would kill me!"

The tears won over.

**I see the way you go and say your right again**

**Say your right again**

**Heed my lecture**

"What?"

"I can't leave him Spencer. If I do, he'll kill me, or worse, kill Mom and Dad. Maybe even you. I would never live it down that their death or your death was my fault."

"I'll turn him in."

"What?"

"I'll turn him in. I'll tell Hotch, he'll tell the police, and Jason will be arrested."

"But he'll know that I told you."

"You didn't."

"Yes, I did."

"No, you didn't. Kate, I'm a profiler. I could tell that he was abusing you before you confessed. I could just tell Hotch that I suspect that he's abusing you and he will think that you kept your mouth shut this whole time."

"You would do that for me?"

"I'd do anything to protect you, Kate."

**Do you feel like a man**

**When you push her around?**

**Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?**

**Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end**

**As your lies crumble down a new life she has**

"I'm scared to go back with him."

"Stay here."

"Spencer..."

"Hotch will be here later. I can turn him in then. You'll never have to be hurt by Jake again."

Kate silently paused. She looked back up at Spencer.

"I'll be right back."

She left the room. He could hear the conversation from his hospital bed.

"Jake, I'm going to spend the night here."

"Kate..."

"Jake, he's been my best friend for twenty-two years. Please, let me stay with him. Just for the night. I'll come back home in the morning."

"Okay. But you'd better be home by tomorrow."

"I will. Don't worry."

**One day she will tell you that she has had enough**

**It's coming round again**

**One day she will tell you that she had enough**

**It's coming round again**

She came back in the room, smiling at Spencer. "He'll never hurt me again?"

"He won't as long as I'm around."

"He's not scared of you."

"No. But when I introduce him to Morgan, he'll be scared of him."

Kate had to smile at this.

"Thanks, Spencer."

"All these years, you've protected me. See this as a little 'thank you'."

She walked over and sat on top of his bed. She bent over to where their faces were just inches apart. Spencer felt a sensation over him that was bigger than when he first kissed Lila. Sure, he thought Lila was a cool girl, but he didn't love her. He only had love for Kate. He started to stroke her hair while the kiss continued.

"Love you, Kate," he whispered as she pulled away.

"Love you too, Spencer."

**Do you feel like a man**

**When you push her around?**

**Do you feel better now as she falls to the ground?**

**Well I'll tell you my friend, one day this world's going to end**

**As your lies crumble down, a new life she has**

The next morning, Spencer woke up, Kate wrapped up in his arms and her ear on his chest, right where his heart is. She said that his heartbeat would calm her and let her go to sleep. He thought of her always being too romantic, but he feel asleep from her soft and even breathing.

He smiled and lightly kissed the top of her head. She giggled in her sleep and shifted so she could be closer to him. When the he heard the door opening, he was expecting Jake to walk through. Fortunately, it was Aaron.

"Got a new girlfriend?" he asked with a smile on his face.

"I was hoping you would come."

"I promise I would."

"I need to talk to you."

Spencer changed positions so he would be face-to-face with Kate.

"Kate," he whispered.

Her eyes opened. She smiled the second she looked into the chocolate brown eyes.

"What is it?"

"Hotch's here. I want to tell him about Jake."

**Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn't hurt she says I finally had enough**

The next day, Kate came into his room. She looked happy.

"Was he arrested?"

"Yes," she replied. "He even confessed to abusing me. He's been arrested for assault and battery."

"See? He'll never hurt you again."

"And it's all thanks to you."

She bent down over the bed and gave him a big hug and a kiss on the forehead.

"Love you, Spencer."

"Love you too, Kate.

**Face down in the dirt she says, this doesn't hurt she says I finally had enough**


	4. Not Ready to Make Nice

"Spencer." He turned to look at the doctor, who seemed to have very exciting news.

"Yes?" Spencer asked.

"I think that you're getting better. I think it's time you leave."

Spencer let out a sigh of relief and adverted his eyes to the ceiling.

"You really think I'm getting better?"

"Yes. However, there is one thing I'm worried about."

Spencer turned his eyes back to the doctor.

"I'm worried that you'll be in another hospital and make another doctor go through the same scenario," the doctor kept on.

"I was talking about with my co-workers yesterday," Spencer replied. "We thought that it would be best if I checked into a rehabilitation center when we get home."

"Good. Glad to hear it."

A few minutes later, Spencer was standing on the concrete steps, looking at all of the sights he missed while lying in that hospital bed. Right there and then, Spencer made a promise to himself. He would not stop until he finally didn't want the diluadid anymore.

With the smile spread widely across his face, it vanished when he saw the last person he wanted to see at the moment, despite the fact he asked him to come. "Hi Dad."

**Forgive, sounds good**

**Forget, I'm not sure I could**

**They say time heals everything**

**But I'm still waiting**

"Spencer." That was all William could say. Of course, what happened after the last time the two saw each other, that might have been the only thing he could say. After all, Spencer did threaten to kill him. He still thought that his father deserved to die.

"Can we talk a walk?" William suggested.

"Yeah," Spencer replied. That would be nice."

The two walked down the garden area behind the hospital. They walked around, gazing at all of the flowers and shrubs, looking at all of the people walking in the beautiful area, and not one of them spoke a word for the longest time.

Spencer decided to break the silence.

"Why did you do it?"

"Do what?" William was starting to play dumb.

"You know what I'm talking about."

William sighed and turned his head to the ground.

"I don't know."

Spencer's eyes turned to rings of fire. His face was getting red from all of the anger building up inside him. He wanted to rage out at his father and murder him. But he didn't want the same incident that happened in the hospital to play out again.

"You don't know?" Spencer asked calmly.

**I'm through, with doubt,**

**There's nothing left to figure out**

**I've paid a price, and I'll keep paying**

"I know it sounds stupid," William replied, "and even a little childish, but I honestly don't know. I guess that I had enough of babying your mother."

"We needed you, Dad."

"I needed you guys too. But I felt that I needed to leave."

"So you just left us, for no reason, when we needed you the most, and you don't return?"

"I told you that it sounded stupid and childish."

The two went silent for a while. They continued to walk. Spencer forgot how beautiful the world could be. All of the drugs blinded him from the world. But now, he could see the beauty. He could see all of the beautiful sightings he never saw before.

"So," William said, breaking the peaceful silence. "How is your mom, anyways?"

Spencer shot his dad an odd look. He actually didn't know what happened to his mother? He didn't know that she was brutally murdered and just thrown in a room, like a piece of trash? He didn't know that the woman he married, the mother of his own child, was dead?

"You don't know?" Spencer asked.

"Know what?"

"She's dead."

**I'm not ready to make nice,**

**I'm not ready to back down**

**I'm still mad as hell**

**And I don't have time**

**To go round and round and round**

**It's too late to make it right**

**I probably wouldn't if I could**

**Cause I'm mad as hell**

**Can't bring myself to do what it is**

**You think I should**

A mixture of surprise and horror took over William's face. So he really didn't know. But how could he not know?

"How could you not know?" Spencer asked.

"I was out of town," William replied, still looking horrified and surprised. "That's why I didn't come until today. How-how did she die?"

"She was murdered."

"M-murdered? Who would murder your mother?"

"A serial killer."

"What?"

"Why else do you think I'm over here? We think that someone is going around, killing anyone with a mental illness, be it mental retardation, bipolar disease, or schizophrenia."

"Why would anyone do that?"

"Because they feel that they have to. All of the serial killers, they don't kill just because they can. They kill because they can't stop. They kill because it's an addiction."

"They were born with a psychological problem?"

"Yes."

"Then why would this person kill other people with psychological problems?"

"Because he probably doesn't realize that he has a psychological problem. He probably thinks he's a regular, every day guy, only with the worst possible addiction you could ever have.

**I know you said**

**Can't you just get over it?**

**It turned my whole world around**

**And I kinda like it**

"Why do you talk about it like an addiction?" William asked.

"Because it is for these people," Spencer replied.

"You know as much as I that people can't break addictions unless they get help."

Spencer knew what was coming up. His father would accuse him of the truth. He would accuse him of taking drugs.

"Spencer..."

"Yes Dad," he interrupted. "I do need help."

**I made my bed, and I sleep like a baby**

**With no regrets and I don't mind saying**

**It's a sad sad story**

**That a mother will teach her daughter**

**That she oughta be a perfect stranger**

**And how in the world**

**Can the words that I said**

**Send somebody so over the edge**

**That they'd write me a letter**

**Saying that I better shut up and sing**

**Or my life will be over**

William froze in the middle of the trail. Spencer stopped a few paces ahead and turned to look in his eyes. William seemed more scared than shocked. Spencer knew what his father was thinking. He was probably thinking that Spencer was taking the drugs for a long time and that the last time they met, when his mother fell down the stairs, he had just taken them.

Little did William know, Spencer actually meant what he said that day in the hospital. He hadn't touched any form of illegal substances until Tobias took him away, so he actually believed that his father deserved to die.

"I didn't get hooked until a few months ago," Spencer admitted.

"Why?" William asked. "Why did you take them?"

Spencer had heard this question too many times. He had answered this question too many times. He has explained how he got the memories of his mother through the drugs too many times.

"They reminded me of Mom," Spencer replied, his voice starting to crack.

**I'm not ready to make nice,**

**I'm not ready to back down**

**I'm still mad as hell**

**And I don't have time**

**To go round and round and round**

**It's too late to make it right**

**I probably wouldn't if I could**

**Cause I'm mad as hell**

**Can't bring myself to do what it is**

**You think I should**

"_Mom!" Spencer came back home from working that day. Normally, a seventeen-year-old wouldn't get the job of assistant to the manager of a big corporation, but he had graduated from college and gotten three PHDs only a year before. It gave Spencer a rush, working from nine to five. To some people, it was torture, but to him, it seemed like a breath of fresh air. Then again, it was able to give him eight hours from his mother._

"_I'm home, Mom!"_

_No answer._

"_Mom?"_

_He searched. He couldn't find his mother. "Mom? Where are you, Mom?"_

_Spencer feared for the worse and thought that she ran away from home. Again. But, when he finally found her, it was worse than the time she ran away from the house._

_She was lying at the bottom of the stairs. She was lying limply._

"_Mom!"_

_Spencer raced over to her body and turned her over. She was still alive, but she was bruised real badly and possibly even broke her bones. He got up, ran for the phone, and quickly dialed._

"_911," the operator said, "what is your emergency?"_

"_Send an ambulance over," Spencer said as calmly as he could. "My mother fell down the stairs."_

**I'm not ready to make nice,**

**I'm not ready to back down**

**I'm still mad as hell**

**And I don't have time**

**To go round and round and round**

**It's too late to make it right**

**I probably wouldn't if I could**

**Cause I'm mad as hell**

**Can't bring myself to do what it is**

**You think I should**

Spencer turned back and looked at his father. "Let's go back," he suggested. "I should get going."

The two walked all the way back to the hospital parking lot without saying a word to each other. When they arrived at the parking lot and at William's car, they froze and looked at each other. "It was great seeing you," William said.

"Great seeing you too," Spencer replied. "I'll see you later."

"Hopefully soon."

William opened the car door, stepped in, and turned it on. He rolled down the window and looked at his son. "I'm really sorry," he told Spencer.

"Yeah. Me too."

William rolled the window up and drove away. Spencer stood by and watched his father, leaving his life once again. He turned around, heading to hail a cab, when he saw Hotch standing right behind him.

"Your Dad?" he asked.

"Yeah. The one who walked out and never came back."

"Looks like he came back today."

"Only because I called and asked him."

"Spencer..."

He looked up at the older man. He realized that Hotch had some important news. And Spencer already knew what it was.

"You found him, didn't you?" Spencer asked. "You found the person who killed my mom?"

**Forgive, sounds good**

**Forget, I'm not sure I could**

**They say time heals everything**

**But I'm still waiting**


	5. The Kill

A/N: Song belongs to 30 Seconds to Mars. THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER!!!!! I'm sorry it was so short, but I WILL make a sequel if I get enough requests.

Spencer and Hotch were silent on the way to the police department. Spencer wanted to see the man who bestowed this tragedy unto him, but at the same time, he wanted to get back on a plane immediately to Quantico. Spencer had nothing to say, for he was afraid that he would suddenly burst out. Hotch was aware of this and respected the silence.

When they stopped in the parking lot, Hotch turned and looked at the other man. "Are you sure you want to see him?" he asked.

"I know you think I might lash out at him," Spencer replied, "but I have to see this man. I have to approach him."

Hotch nodded and stepped out of the car. Spencer followed his command. They walked into the police station, where everyone was standing outside the interrogation room. They all turned their heads and looked at Spencer.

"Is that the guy?" he asked.

"Yeah," Emily replied.

Emily and Jennifer looked to the ground, while Jason gave Spencer a reassuring look. Derek stepped forward and hugged Spencer.

"I'm here for you," he whispered.

"Thanks man," Spencer whispered back.

He turned and looked into the glass that separated the monster from the world. He fitted the profile: overpowering, late-twenties to early-thirties, a leader, always getting what he wants. He probably worshiped Adolf Hitler as some sort of role model.

"I need to talk to him," Spencer said.

"No," Derek commanded.

"I know you're trying to protect me, Derek, and I appreciate it, but I need to see this guy."

He felt the silence from everyone, he knew what they were all thinking. That he was a lunatic for even wanting to see him.

"All right," Jason spoke up. "You can see him."

**What if I wanted to break**

**Laugh it all out in your face**

**What would you do?**

**What if I fell to the floor**

**Couldn't tell this anymore**

**What would you do, do, do?**

Spencer approached the table that the man was handcuffed to and sat down across from him. He tried to be calm, but all he could think about was wringing this monster's neck. Did the man not know that everyone he killed had families? Did he not know that he would be breaking a lot of hearts when he thought he was saving the world?

No. He realized the answer was no. Nothing would stop him from killing these innocent people. Nothing.

"Another detective?" the murderer asked, flashing an evil smile. "You know, you guys are starting to annoy me."

"I'm not a detective," Spencer replied gruffly.

"So what are you?"

"I'm an FBI profiler."

"A profiler, eh? I heard a lot about you guys. One look at the crime scene and you are able to tell what kind of person these people really are. Aggressive, nervous, scared, furious, you are able to see what emotion the murderer was feeling. Tell me, Mr. Profiler, what was I feeling when I killed all of those people?"

"You killed at least five people with mental disabilities. Most likely, you killed more. Did you?"

"I will answer your question if you answer mine. What was I feeling when I murdered?"

"You want to know what you were feeling? You are mad that God created people like this, you think that everyone in the world should think and act for themselves, so when you killed all of these people, you felt ashamed?"

"Ashamed?"

"Ashamed that they ever walked this earth and ashamed that you were the only one who was smart enough to take them out."

"Very good, very good. You were able to tell exactly what I was feeling at the time."

"Now answer my question. Did you kill anyone else?"

**Come break me down**

**Bury me, bury me**

**I am finished with you**

"What does it matter to you?" the murderer asked, the smile never leaving his face. "You're not mental. I would never harm you."

"It just so happens that one of these people you killed was my mother?"

"Really? Shame on me, I killed the mommy of a profiler. I don't know what I'll ever do with myself."

Spencer heard the door being thrust opened and stomping into the room. "How dare you?" Derek asked aggressively.

"Derek," Spencer said, not even bothering to turn his back, "leave."

"This man killed your mother!"

"I am aware of this, Derek, I am a son mourning, not an idiot! I appreciate that you want to protect me, but I have to do this on my own."

"But..."

"On my own, Derek! That means without you and without anyone!"

Spencer didn't turn back to look at Derek, but heard him leave by the door being opened and slammed shut.

"Well," the killer started, "looks like little Reid can stand up for himself now."

**What if I wanted to fight**

**Beg for the rest of my life**

**What would you do?**

**You say you wanted more**

**What are you waiting for**

**I'm not running from you**

"You know who I am?" Spencer asked.

"Well, I've killed five people, no more and no less. Three of them, David Morsch, John Landon, and Leon Jackson, can be cut out because, well, they're not female. You look pretty young, so the other, Margaret Kilch, can be cut out because she's eighty-years-old. That only leaves me with one more person. Diana Reid."

**Come break me down**

**Bury me, bury me**

**I am finished with you**

**Look in my eyes**

**You're killing me, killing me**

**All I wanted was you**

"You think I just kill my victims at random? No, I choose them very carefully. If I know that they can be taken out of where they're staying easily, I do. You know how I took your mother out? I told her that I was a friend of yours. And guess what? She believed me. That is the benefit you get out of taking away a schizophrenic person. They'll believe anything you'll say."

Spencer shot up and nearly jumped across the table. He stopped himself when he got on his feet and left the room. He passed right by his friends and stomped out of the police department. Right when he was about to blow, he turned and saw Kate running up to him. He ran over and welcomed her with an embrace and soaking her shoulder with his tears.

"I heard," she whispered. "It must have been hard. Seeing him."

All he could do was nod and continue to cry on her shoulder. She rubbed her hand down his back, letting him know that she would always be there for him. He wanted to talk, he wanted to tell her everything, but he couldn't. All he could do was cry.

**I tried to be someone else**

**But nothing seemed to change**

**I know now, this is who I really am**

**Falling for myself**

**Fighting for a chance**

**I know now, this is who I really am**

_Spencer was lying in the grass, looking up at the stars. The stars had always calmed him down whenever he needed to calm down. There was something about them that put him at peace. He would just picture himself, alone on one of those stars, away from the whole world._

_He heard rustling right beside him. Spencer looked up to see Kate beside him. "Hi Kitty," he said with a smile._

"_Hi Spency," she replied, sitting down besides him._

"_How did you find me?"_

"_Oh, come on. I've known you too long, Spency. I know that whenever you need to blow off some steam, you come to the football field, you lie down, and you look up at the stars."_

"_You know me too well."_

_Kate smiled and playfully pushed Spencer. _

"_I can see how it relaxes you," Kate said. "Imagining to be on one of those stars, I feel at peace."_

"_I did feel at peace, until you came and broke it."_

"_Oh, shut it! You know that you're glad I came."_

"_Yeah, I'm glad you came. I really need someone to talk to, and who better than my best friend for fifteen years?"_

"_So, talk."_

"_It's Dad. He came over to the hospital earlier today."_

"_Oh no."_

"_And the worst part is that I threatened to kill him."_

"_Spencer! Why would you do that?"_

"_I was angry. You'd be angry to if your dad walked out on you and your mom, especially if your mom had a mental disability."_

"_I'm sure I would, but I still wouldn't threaten to kill Dad!"_

"_I was angry. He left for three years, never came back, and the he suddenly re-appears. It doesn't make any sense."_

"_Maybe he was trying to make amends with you guys."_

"_He probably was, but he'll never want to try to make amends again after I said I would kill him!"_

_He buried his face in his hands and fought back the tears. He felt Kate's reassuring hand on Spencer's back._

"_You know I'll always be there for you," she whispered._

"_Yeah," Spencer replied, looking into her eyes. "I know."_

**Come break me down**

**Bury me, bury me**

**I am finished with you, you, you**

**Look in my eyes**

**You're killing me, killing me**

**All I wanted was you**

**Come break me down**

**Break me down**

**Break me down**

Spencer was lying in the grass, looking in the stars, holding hands with Kate.

"Have you ever imagined yourself on one of those stars?" he asked.

"Yes," she replied. "A bunch. Especially since you left."

Spencer sat up and looked in her eyes. She looked up and smiled.

"What?" she asked.

"Go back to Quantico with me."

Kate sat up, then she looked at the ground.

"I don't know," she said quietly. "I need to think about it."

"Kate, we're leaving tomorrow. You need to make a decision."

"You'll find out by tomorrow. Don't worry."

The next day, when Spencer was boarding onto the plane, he saw Kate running up to him, holding a suitcase. She hugged him and smiled. "I made my decision," she said. "I'm going with you to Quantico."

**What if I wanted to break?**

**What if I**

**What if I**

**What if I**

**What if I**


End file.
